The Pizza Boy
by ButterflySidle
Summary: Gil goes through what would happen if Sara chooses to never come back. So Right now it's a one shot... but there is definitely potential for it to be more... GSR. K. Reviews are love.


**Author: **Me ;)

**Rating:** K.

**Disclaimer:** I wish I owned them, but alas I do not... So I just took Gil out to play for a bit ;)

**A/N: **Currently, it's a one shot... but it's slightly open ended... well you can see. THANK YOU to** mingsmommy **for the amazing & very quick beta and putting up with my odd bout of writing that I did curing my Psychology Core Concepts class. :D

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**The Pizza Boy**

The noise of the television faded into the background as he contemplated what he would do next. Well, eat dinner of course, he reassured his rumbling stomach, once his pizza got there. But after that, how would he keep himself busy?

Gil had made a habit of occupying himself.

A bad habit of sorts, most would say. He'd do anything and everything just to keep his mind busy. Word puzzles, Sudoku, rent dozens of movies, anything to keep his mind off Sara. He'd become so desperate lately, that he'd taken up jogging, just so he wouldn't have to sit around and think about her.

It wasn't exactly about her in general. It was the internal nagging question that plagued his brain, time and time again.

What if Sara never came back?

It used to be the one question he constantly asked himself when she first left. What would he do if she decided that he didn't fit in her life anymore?

The question hurt him more than anything, but he knew it was a valid one, especially now that she'd been gone so long.

Three months slipped by and sure, they used to talk every few days. But those few days had turned into weeks… and now, he hadn't heard from her in 14 days.

Actually, 13 days and 21 hours. And if someone really wanted specifics, he could supply them with those too, if need be.

As he sat there on the couch, watching the tail end of Rocket Science (a movie he really hadn't paid all that much attention to), his mind wandered without him really realizing it until he was faced with the list.

That empty list that he'd come up with many times.

Sighing, he took a in a deep breath. Wrinkling his nose as he smelt something slightly foul; Hank. He needed a bath. Normally, that was Sara's job. She tackled Hank in the bath room and would give the large animal a good hose down. But now, the poor dog, smelt somewhat like a public washroom.

What _if_ Sara never came back?

He could continue doing what he's doing/living in apathy… or whatever this was he was living. Could he truly call it living? Didn't living entail that one took chances? Maybe truly smile every so often?

He could leave the lab and teach. He could inform students of the ways of being a good CSI. Come home every night to an empty house and his dog.

At least being at the lab allowed him to really dive into something at took up all his attention. Sink his teeth into a case that could really consume him for hours. Even shifts. Could he leave Vegas?

Leave everything that was Sara. Go to a whole new place… somewhere where he was a ghost, somewhere cold maybe.

Gil shook his head at the idea, running his palm along the arm of the soft, faux leather couch (Sara had insisted: no real leather). The only time he wanted to experience somewhere different, was if he was with Sara. Take her somewhere exotic and really spend time with her. But every time Gil contemplated how he would survive if she never came back, he came up with the same observation.

He simple wouldn't, no, he couldn't. Not truly survive.

As much as it frightened him, Gil was nothing without his other half. He missed her terribly and he ached every day that he wasn't able to hold her in his arms, caress her. It was unfamiliar to not have her there now, almost like she took a piece of him with her. Who was he kidding? She did!

She'd taken his heart, his love. And as much as he wanted Sara to be better, he wanted to be there with her. Make sure she was safe. Be able to hold her when she cried in front of her father's grave. Be her rock when she visited her mother, her past. Be able to-

His thoughts were cut short by Hank bolting down the stairs. The large dog was slightly louder and a little more boisterous than a stampede of horses when he ran through the house.

Sighing, Gil shook his head and fetched the money for the pizza from his wallet and stood, walking to the door.

He was almost there when he heard it.

The pizza boy didn't have a house key…

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So? Whattaya think?! I know it has the potential to move forward... but sometimes...some things should stay as they are... I'm open to comments &/or ideas :) 


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